Today I received a Victoria’s Secret catalog in the mail. At first, I assumed it was intended for one of my daughters. However after investigating further, I discovered that the catalog was actually addressed to me - or Current Resident.
I doubted that Victoria’s Secret would have any clothing designed to fit my body. However, I decided to research the gold standard in bikini bodies. I discovered that the early pages of the catalog displayed endless teeny weeny bikinis that would never fit the typical woman.
By page 49, I had seen quite enough of the ultra thin bikini models. And then it happened. I turned to page 50 and discovered ‘The Magicsuit’. The first one piece bathing suit in the catalog made claims of slimming, trimming, smoothing and streamlining. The suit's description began: ‘Feel the Magic’ and offered a ‘Quick fix for beach trips!’ Unfortunately, even I realized that the Magicsuit could not fix all that this body requires for the beach. The catalog soon found its way into my circular file.
I feel fairly certain that this 50 year old will never purchase a bathing suit from Victoria’s Secret. I do so miss the days of a tanned tummy, but these days are different. My bathing suit goals have become quite simple:
slim my stomach and smooth the bulges.
Hmm...Maybe I should give that Magicsuit a try after all.